The Marriage Habit - Full Book Free
30 Days to the Marriage
Your Kids Dream of Their Parents Having
Build habits of intentional love, faith, and connection — one small act at a time.
A Gift to Every Couple Who Wants More
This book was written out of a deep desire to share what I've experienced firsthand — a marriage that is truly God-filled, intentional, and more fulfilling than I ever imagined possible. I don't believe a resource like this should sit behind a paywall. Every couple deserves access to the kind of marriage this 30-day journey can help build, so I'm offering it here, completely free.
If you'd like a physical copy — to write and journal in as you go, to work through together as a couple, or to share with a small group — you can find it on Amazon. The physical edition includes dedicated journaling pages after every single day, designed to be filled in and ultimately presented to your spouse as one of the most meaningful gifts they'll ever receive.
📖 Get the Physical Copy on AmazonThis book is the perfect follow-up to Intentional Love — another free resource for couples seeking a deeper, Christ-centered marriage. If you haven't read it yet, start there.
A Journey of Intentional Love
Welcome to this 30-day journey designed to bring you closer to God and your spouse. Marriage is a union where two become one, a reflection of God's love and faithfulness. When we choose to love each other intentionally, we're not just strengthening our bond — we're reflecting the sacrificial love Christ shows to us. The little things we do each day, whether it's offering a kind word, a thoughtful act, or simply being present, are all opportunities to honor God through our marriage.
This book is built to walk with you, step by step, as you deepen your direct connection with God, and the love you share with your spouse. Each day offers a simple, practical action that will help you build habits of love, kindness, and service. These aren't just nice gestures; they're intentional acts to offer as worship to God that will strengthen the foundation of your marriage and invite God's presence into your daily life.
Why 30 Days?
This isn't just 30 days and done. These 30 days are about creating intentional habits of showing love and consistently choosing to invest in your marriage with a heart set on glorifying God. Each action is designed to help you build habits that will elevate your relationship to a new level of love, trust, and intimacy. But more than that, these habits are meant to reflect Christ's love through your marriage.
While these daily actions will undoubtedly bring you and your spouse closer, the ultimate goal is even greater: to glorify God through your relationship. When you love and serve your spouse intentionally, with the purpose of honoring God, your marriage becomes a powerful testimony.
Weekdays and Weekends
We know life can get busy, which is why this guide is designed to fit into your schedule. Weekday actions are smaller, more manageable steps that you can complete even on your busiest days. Weekend actions are a little longer and more in-depth, offering you the chance to slow down, spend quality time together, and strengthen your bond through shared experiences.
If your work schedule looks a little different, don't worry — this guide is flexible. Feel free to swap days around as needed. The important thing is not the order, but the consistency and heart behind the actions.
Designed for Growth
This guide is meant to be more than just a one-time experience. You'll find space after each daily task for notes, reflections, and thoughts. Whether it's the first time you've done this or the thirtieth, you'll find that each round brings something new. You'll grow more aware of how your actions affect your spouse, how love can deepen through the smallest of gestures, and how God continues to work in your marriage through every step.
A Commitment to Make
Before you begin, make a commitment to yourself and to God that you will complete this adventure. You don't have to be perfect, but the key is to stay consistent and intentional in your efforts.
- "I commit to making my marriage an act of worship, glorifying God through my love and service."
- "I commit to intentionally loving my spouse each day with the heart of Christ."
How to Use This Guide
Welcome to a journey of worship, where every act of love, service and gratitude toward your spouse becomes an intentional offering to God. This guide isn't just about building a happy marriage; it's about learning to honor and worship God by reflecting His love through your actions. Based on the powerful truth of Ephesians 5:25, this book invites you to learn how to use each moment of your marriage as an opportunity to love God intentionally.
The Purpose of This Habit Book
The purpose here is simple but serious: to use your marriage as a tool to directly worship God. Each day, you'll be guided through intentional actions that reflect the selfless, sacrificial love of Christ for His church. These acts are not simply to make your spouse happy; they are designed as ways to draw you both closer to God, making Him the center of your relationship.
Finding Habits to Carry Forward
As you journey through these daily practices, look for at least 10 habits that connect with you and that you can commit to incorporating into your life. When you live with a heart intent on pleasing God, joy and peace flow naturally. As Romans 15:13 says: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him."
The Power of Intent
When you make honoring Him your focus, His blessings follow. We are learning how to intentionally and directly worship God in a new way based on Ephesians 5:25. As Proverbs 16:2 reminds us: "All a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord." And Colossians 3:23: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord."
A Flexible Structure
- Weekday Actions: Smaller, more manageable tasks that can be done even on your busiest days. Easy to complete yet deeply meaningful.
- Weekend Actions: A bit more in-depth, designed to allow you and your spouse to spend quality time together — planning special events or reflecting on your relationship with each other or with God.
Tips for Success
Journaling as a Journey and a Gift
Throughout this guide, you'll find reflection prompts after each day's challenge. Document your thoughts, experiences, and emotions. This journaling process is a powerful tool not just for personal growth, but also as a way to offer something beautiful to your spouse. At the end of the 30 days, you'll have created a heartfelt record of your journey — consider presenting it as a gift to your spouse. This will become something that your kids show to their kids as an inspirational example of what a true marriage looks like. Yours.
Note: In the physical edition of this book, each journal section includes dedicated pages with blank lines for writing. Get the physical book on Amazon →
Setting Your Intentions
Before you begin, take a moment to reflect on why you're committing to this journey:
- How do you want to see your relationship with God change?
- How do you want to grow spiritually?
- What would you like your relationship with your spouse to look like after the initial 30 days?
Your Journey Starts Now
You've already taken the first step by committing to this process. God is with you every step of the way, guiding you as you build a marriage that reflects His love and grace. So take a deep breath, set your intentions, and let's do something really amazing now.
"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
— Matthew 6:33
Today, you're embarking on a journey that has the power to transform not only your marriage but your life and relationship with God. This isn't just about learning new habits or trying out nice gestures for your spouse — this is about setting a course toward lasting change, built on the foundation of God's design for love.
The Power of Intentionality
When we look at Scripture, we see again and again that God doesn't act randomly or without purpose. There is intention behind everything He does. When He created marriage, it wasn't just to give us companionship, but to also provide us with a path to holiness. Marriage is an opportunity to reflect the love of Christ in our everyday lives — to serve, to sacrifice, and to love unconditionally.
Setting your intention means deciding not just what you're going to do, but why you're doing it. The first step to transforming your marriage is understanding that this journey is about putting God first and allowing Him to shape every part of your relationship.
Reflecting God's Love in Your Marriage
The love you're seeking to grow over these 30 days isn't ordinary. It's not the fleeting, conditional kind of love the world often promotes. No, the love you're cultivating is Christ's love — patient, kind, not self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13:4–5). It's sacrificial, serving the other without expecting anything in return.
Today's Challenge: Establish Your "Why"
Take some time today to reflect on the why behind your journey. Before you begin the practical tasks, lay this spiritual foundation. Here are a few questions to guide your reflection:
- Why have you decided to take this journey?
- What are you hoping to gain from these next 30 days?
- In what ways do you hope to grow closer to God during this process?
- Why do you want to learn to worship God through your marriage?
- How do you want this journey to transform your relationship with your spouse?
You might start by praying for guidance, asking God to reveal what He wants to do in your life through this process. Then, take time to discuss your thoughts with your spouse.
Writing Your Intention
After reflecting and discussing, write a journal entry that explains to your spouse why you're taking this journey. This will be the first thing they read when you present this journal as a gift at the end of the 30 days. Be open and sincere in sharing your heart. Consider:
- Why you're committing to this journey
- What you hope to achieve — for both your relationship with God and your spouse
- How you plan to worship God through this process
Exploring Marriage as Worship
The Bible teaches us that love is more than a feeling; it is an intentional choice. In Ephesians 5:25: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." This verse challenges us to view marriage as a relationship that mirrors the sacrificial love of Christ. Every act of love, service, and patience becomes an offering to God.
Seeing marriage as worship requires a shift in perspective. Rather than asking what we can get from our relationship, we begin asking how we can serve, honor, and glorify God through it. As John 15:12 says: "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."
Faith and Love Journal — Day 1
- How did this help you feel closer to God?
- How did this make you feel closer to your spouse?
- Key Takeaway
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."
— Philippians 2:3–4
Serving one another is at the heart of a Christ-centered marriage. When we choose to serve our spouse, we're not just doing something nice for them — we're showing the humility and love of Christ. Today, your challenge is to serve your spouse in a tangible way by preparing their favorite breakfast and bringing it to them in bed.
When they ask why, tell them simply: "Because I love you." Don't make a big deal about it. Remember, you are doing this for God, not for them — their joy, and in return your joy from this act, isn't about you or your spouse, it is about serving God.
The Power of Service in Marriage
Service isn't about grand gestures or waiting for the perfect moment. Think about the way Jesus washed His disciples' feet — an act of humility and love. It wasn't flashy or dramatic, but it was deeply meaningful. Preparing their favorite breakfast may seem like a small act, but it carries a profound message: "I love you, I see you, and I want to start today by serving you."
Today's Challenge: Serve with Love
Prepare your spouse's favorite breakfast and serve it to them in bed. Think about what they love most — something that makes them feel cared for and appreciated. Get up a little earlier to prepare it before they wake up. If you have absolutely zero kitchen skills, still do your best — intent is what matters.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 2
- How did it feel to serve your spouse first thing in the morning?
- How did they react when you brought them breakfast?
- What did you learn about love and service through this act?
- How does serving your spouse help you grow closer to God?
- Key Takeaway
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
— Matthew 11:28
Today you have the opportunity to provide a sense of rest to your spouse. Just as Christ invites us to find peace in Him when we are weary, your task today is to offer that same comfort.
Today's Challenge: Offer a Foot Massage
At the end of today, offer your spouse a foot massage — an intentional act of love. You can set a calm atmosphere with dimmed lights, or simply do it while sitting on the couch watching a show together. The main thing is to have the intent for it to be as enjoyable for them as it can be.
- Be fully present: Focus on them — their needs, their comfort, their well-being.
- Listen: Ask how they're feeling. Sometimes being listened to is as healing as the massage itself.
Think about how Jesus washed His disciples' feet — an act of ultimate humility and love. When you offer your spouse a foot massage, you are mirroring that same heart of humility and care. As John 13:14–15 says: "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example."
Faith and Love Journal — Day 3
- How did your spouse react to your offer of comfort and care today?
- How did this small act of love help you feel more connected to your spouse?
- What did you learn about God's love through this moment of service?
- Key Takeaway
"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."
— Proverbs 3:3
Today's challenge is about bringing back the nostalgic feeling of young love — the kind that makes your heart flutter and reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place.
Today's Challenge: Write a Handwritten Love Note
Grab some paper and a pen — no texts or emails today. Take a moment to think about what you want to say. And to make it even more fun, fold the note the way notes used to be folded in school. If you're not sure how, a quick search on YouTube will show you. The nostalgia and care put into it will make the gesture even more meaningful.
Some prompts to help you get started:
- "I'll never forget the first time we met because..."
- "I love how you always..."
- "I'm excited to grow old with you because..."
Find a creative way to give it — slip it into their bag, tuck it under their pillow, or leave it on the kitchen counter. If this is uncomfortable for you, that will probably make it even more special for them to receive.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 4
- How did it feel to write a love note by hand instead of typing a message?
- What was your spouse's reaction when they found the note?
- How does expressing love through simple, thoughtful actions honor God?
- Key Takeaway
"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
— Colossians 3:17
In everything we do, God calls us to honor Him first. Today's challenge is about bringing home a thoughtful treat for your spouse — something that will make them feel appreciated and loved, whether it's their favorite snack, a cup of coffee from a local café, or something that just makes them happy. The power lies in the thought behind it.
As you start thinking about what treat to get, focus your heart on God. Offer this act of love as a way to glorify Him. The simple act of being thoughtful mirrors the way God is always thinking of us — providing for us, caring for us, knowing what we need before we even ask.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 5
- How did your spouse react to your thoughtful gesture?
- How did this act show your spouse love in a meaningful way?
- What did this experience teach you about how small, thoughtful acts reflect God's love?
- Key Takeaway
"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
— Proverbs 17:22
Marriage isn't just about the serious and sacred moments; it's also about experiencing true joy together. God created us to enjoy life, to laugh, to have fun, and to delight in one another. Today's challenge is about tapping into that joy, regardless of how old you are.
Today's Challenge: Build a Blanket Fort
Whether you're 22 or 92, there's something magical about building a blanket fort in the living room. Gather all the blankets, pillows, and chairs you need. If you are over 40 and following through on this — congratulations on helping both your spouse and yourself feel like kids again.
Once the fort is set up, enjoy the space you've created together. Bring some snacks inside, watch a movie, or simply lay there and talk. Even if you can't make a traditional blanket fort, you can throw a sheet over some chairs — make it work.
Remember that God created us for joy. When you intentionally create moments of playfulness in your marriage, you are building a connection that transcends the mundane and brings a lighthearted spirit into your home.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 6
- How did it feel to engage in something playful and fun with your spouse today?
- What was the most enjoyable part of setting up the fort and spending time inside it?
- How does creating moments of joy together help you reflect God's love and intention for your marriage?
- Key Takeaway
"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands."
— Psalm 19:1
Today's challenge is about starting a new tradition in your marriage: the weekly meander. A meander is more than just a casual drive — it's a mini adventure you'll take together every week, with no set destination and no agenda other than to enjoy each other's company and explore new places.
Today's Challenge: Start Your Weekly Meander Tradition
Get in the car with no set destination, pick a direction, and drive. The beauty of the meander is that it's not about where you go, but about the time you spend together. Keep these things in mind:
- Explore the Unknown: Look for new restaurants you've never been to, small shops, or roads you've never driven down.
- Talk and Dream Together: Use this time to reflect on your week, dream about your future, or talk about what's been on your heart.
- Be Present: Turn off or silence your phones. This is time dedicated to just the two of you, and with God. As Matthew 18:20 says: "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."
Whether you attend a church or not, make the meander part of your Sunday routine. This tradition is about being intentional in your time together, inviting God into your relationship through shared moments of connection and exploration.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 7
- How did it feel to start your new weekly tradition of the meander with your spouse?
- What did you discover or experience today that made you feel more connected?
- How can making time for this tradition each week help you grow closer to God and to one another?
- Key Takeaway
"Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
— Proverbs 16:24
Today, you're going to leave a sweet message for your spouse — a sticky note in their car to brighten their day. This isn't about grand declarations, but about the simple reminder that you're thinking of them and that your love is always present, even when you're apart.
Before your spouse heads off to work, leave a sticky note in their car. It can be something as simple as "I love you," "I'm thinking of you," or "You're amazing, and I'm so grateful for you." If you want to take it a step further, try sneaking another note in before their workday ends. The unexpected second note will be a wonderful surprise.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 8
- How did it feel to leave a small, loving message for your spouse today?
- What was their reaction when they found the note?
- How do these small, thoughtful gestures help to strengthen your marriage and remind you of God's love?
- Key Takeaway
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
— 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Today's challenge is about publicly honoring the person you love. Taking the time to share a post about your spouse is an opportunity to both honor them and reflect God's love. Social media is overrun by negativity — letting others see your positivity about your spouse may be encouraging in a time when most of what's seen on social media can be so negative.
Today's Challenge: Praise Your Spouse on Social Media
Make a social media post celebrating your spouse. Try to include several photos of the two of you from different moments in your life together — your wedding day, vacations, special occasions, or everyday moments. In the caption, express why you feel so lucky to have your spouse. Mention the qualities you love most about them.
Remember, this isn't just a one-time thing — it will come around every year on their Facebook memories. Next year, 5 years, 10 years and more, they will be reminded of the day you publicly shared your love for them.
If you don't use social media often, that's even better. The unexpected nature of your post will make it feel even more heartfelt and special.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 9
- How did it feel to publicly praise your spouse on social media today?
- What was your spouse's reaction to seeing the post?
- How does honoring your spouse in front of others help you both grow closer, and how does it reflect God's love?
- Key Takeaway
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
— 1 Corinthians 10:31
Today's challenge is about cooking a new dish together. Whether you're skilled cooks or you mess up spaghetti, the kitchen can be a place of laughter, fun, and creativity. Think about your family backgrounds or cultural traditions — cooking something from your heritage could be a meaningful way to connect, or simply pick a recipe that sounds fun and different.
Have everything ready before you start cooking so you can focus on the experience, not scrambling for ingredients. Laugh at any mistakes, ask each other questions, and just enjoy the time spent in each other's company. It doesn't matter if the dish turns out perfect — what matters is the connection you're building.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 10
- How did spending time cooking a new dish together help you feel more connected?
- What was the most fun or memorable part of the process?
- How does working together, even in small tasks like cooking, reflect God's design for unity in your relationship?
- Key Takeaway
"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom."
— Colossians 3:16
Today's challenge is about finding a favorite part of the Bible and discussing it with your spouse. This isn't meant to be a deep theological debate, but a chance to share what parts really speak to you. You'll also be preparing for your next meander by finding sermons, podcasts, or teachings on YouTube that expand on the scriptures you discuss.
Today's Challenge: Share a Scripture and Find a Teaching
- Ask About Their Favorite Part: Ask your spouse about a part of the Bible that stands out to them — a story, a passage, or a theme.
- Share Your Own: Take a moment to share the part of the Bible that speaks to you.
- Find a Teaching: Head to YouTube or another platform to find a sermon or podcast about the scriptures you discussed. Plan to play them during your next meander and discuss afterward.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 11
- What part of the Bible did your spouse share, and why did it matter to you?
- How did it feel to share your favorite part of scripture, and how did your spouse react?
- What did this conversation teach you about how God's Word can work in your marriage?
- Key Takeaway
"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act."
— Proverbs 3:27
Today's challenge is about taking the time to do something completely unexpected for your spouse — a random act of kindness that will make them smile, lift their spirits, and remind them of how much they mean to you. Whether it's sending flowers to their workplace, ordering lunch, or surprising them with a card, the goal is to brighten their day.
- Send a Delivery: If your spouse is at work, surprise them by having something delivered.
- Visit in Person: Take the opportunity to visit your spouse's workplace with something thoughtful.
- At-Home Surprise: If your spouse works from home, find a way to surprise them during their day.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 12
- What random act of kindness did you choose for your spouse, and how did they respond?
- How did it feel to surprise them and bring a little unexpected joy into their day?
- How did this act help you see serving your spouse as a form of worship to God?
- Key Takeaway
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
— 1 Peter 4:8
Today's challenge is about establishing a new habit: setting a weekly date night that is non-negotiable, a time dedicated solely to reconnecting with your spouse. You may be thinking — we already have the weekly meander. That is already a date day! Yes, exactly. So this is a second one.
Today's Challenge: Plan and Protect Your First Date Night
- Choose a Day You Can Commit To: Look at your schedule and choose a day of the week that works for both of you.
- Plan Your First Date Tonight: It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. The point is to set the tone for this weekly tradition. It isn't about what you do together, it's only about the time together.
- Guard This Time: Moving forward, make this weekly date night something you protect. Don't allow other obligations to interfere.
Even if you have small children — especially if you have small children — make this a priority. Even a babysitter for an hour a week is worth it.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 13
- What did you enjoy most about spending intentional time with your spouse tonight?
- How do you think protecting this time each week will strengthen your relationship?
- How does setting aside regular time for your spouse honor God and serve as an act of worship?
- Key Takeaway
"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."
— Psalm 119:105
Today is your meander day — a time to explore, relax, and enjoy each other's company with no set destination. But this meander has an added purpose: you'll be reflecting on the scriptures you shared earlier this week by listening to the teachings you found on YouTube.
- Begin with Prayer: Start your meander with a silent prayer, asking God to guide your time together.
- Listen to the Teachings: Play the videos or podcasts about your favorite scriptures. Pause to discuss what stands out to you.
- Discuss What You've Learned: How do these passages apply to your marriage and your spiritual journey together?
- Enjoy the Journey: As always, your meander is about more than just the destination.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 14
- How did it feel to listen to teachings about your favorite scriptures during the meander?
- What new insights came up during your conversation with your spouse?
- How does discussing scripture together help you grow spiritually and strengthen your marriage?
- Key Takeaway
Want to write and journal along the way? Get the physical book on Amazon →
"Serve one another humbly in love."
— Galatians 5:13
Today's challenge is about stepping into your spouse's shoes and taking on one of their chores or tasks, lightening their load and showing them how you're thinking about them. Whether it's sweeping the floor, cleaning the bathroom, doing the dishes, or any other household task your spouse usually handles — take that task off their plate today.
- Pick a Chore They Dislike: Think about the tasks your spouse usually handles that they don't particularly enjoy.
- Surprise Them: Take on the task and complete it before they have a chance to do it themselves.
- Do It With a Joyful Heart: Approach this task with a spirit of joy and gratitude, knowing that by serving your spouse, you are also serving God.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 15
- How did it feel to serve your spouse in a way that lightened their load?
- What did this experience teach you about the importance of small acts of service in your marriage?
- How can you continue to look for ways to serve your spouse in everyday life, honoring God through your actions?
- Key Takeaway
"Let us not neglect meeting together... but encourage one another."
— Hebrews 10:25
Today's challenge is to have a lunch date. If your schedules allow, meet in person. If not, use technology to your advantage — connect over a video call during your lunch break. It doesn't have to be long or extravagant. What matters is the effort and time invested in being present with each other. All that matters is the intent to spend this time together.
- Meet in Person (if possible): Meet at a favorite spot, pack lunches at a park, or just sit in the car together.
- Virtual Lunch Date: Connect on a video call — Facetime, Skype, whatever you can use.
- Stay Present: The topic doesn't matter. You are spending time together intentionally, and that is the goal.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 16
- How did it feel to carve out intentional time for your spouse during the day?
- How can making time for each other during busy days create a stronger connection in your marriage?
- How does prioritizing intentional time with your spouse help you honor God?
- Key Takeaway
"Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."
— Ephesians 4:3
Today's challenge is simple but powerful: make a commitment to put your phone away during every meal you share with your spouse, starting today and continuing forward. This small change will have a profound impact on the quality of your time together, allowing you to be fully engaged in conversation, connection, and enjoying each other's company without distractions.
- Commit to No Phones: Make the decision together to leave your phones out of sight during meals.
- Be Fully Present: Take the time to really engage with your spouse.
- Create a New Habit: This is more than just a one-day challenge. Commit to making this a lasting habit.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 17
- How did it feel to put your phone away during meals today?
- How can this habit of being phone-free during meals enhance your connection?
- How does being fully present with your spouse during meals help you honor God in your marriage?
- Key Takeaway
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights."
— James 1:17
Today's challenge is to give your spouse a nostalgic gift — something that brings back fond memories from their childhood or early years. Maybe there was a toy they loved as a child but never got, or perhaps there's a snack or treat that always reminds them of when they were a kid. This small act says, "I've been thinking about you, and I care about the things that bring you joy."
Note: You don't have to give it today if you need time to find something specifically nostalgic — but you must at least order it today. A trip to the grocery store for a nostalgic treat can work for today's delivery.
When you give your spouse this gift, explain why it made you think of them. This adds a deeper layer of connection and shows that you've been intentional in choosing something meaningful.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 18
- How did your spouse react when they received their gift?
- What did you learn about the importance of thoughtfulness in marriage?
- How does giving a thoughtful gift to your spouse reflect God's love and generosity?
- Key Takeaway
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — think about such things."
— Philippians 4:8
Today's challenge is to take inventory of your social media feed and unfollow any account that doesn't honor your marriage. Whether it's an account that promotes unhealthy lifestyles or one that makes your eyes go places they shouldn't — these digital distractions can chip away at the foundation of your marriage.
You could think of your marriage as a walled garden. Inside, everything is beautiful and amazing, and protected from anything outside of it. You do not need to wait for difficult times to take steps that protect your marriage.
- Evaluate Your Feed: Ask yourself of each account — "Does this honor my marriage? Does it align with the values my spouse and I share?"
- Unfollow with Intention: When you come across accounts that cause comparison or discontentment, unfollow them.
- Replace with Encouragement: Fill your feed with things that encourage your marriage and glorify God.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 19
- How did it feel to unfollow accounts that weren't honoring your marriage?
- What changes did you notice in your social media feed after making this adjustment?
- How does this act of intentionality help you keep your focus on God and your spouse?
- Key Takeaway
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
— Romans 12:10
Tonight's challenge is about going deeper — using this date night to plan an experience tailored to your spouse, no matter how small, where the intent is evident: you are thinking about them. Instead of following some pre-set plan, you're going to create your own unique date night, carefully considering what will make your spouse feel loved, appreciated, and special.
- Think About What They Love: Consider your spouse's interests, hobbies, and preferences.
- Plan Thoughtfully: Whether it's cooking their favorite meal at home or a fun outing, what matters is that you've put thought into what will make them happy.
- Keep It a Surprise: If possible, keep the details a surprise until it's time to begin.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 20
- How did your spouse react to the date, and how did it make you feel to plan something special for them?
- What did this challenge teach you about the importance of thoughtfulness in marriage?
- How can making your spouse feel valued and loved bring you both closer to God?
- Key Takeaway
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts... and be thankful."
— Colossians 3:15
Today we have two challenges, but don't worry — it won't be difficult to do them both. This Sunday, step out of your routine by visiting a new church — not to join, but to experience how others worship and to appreciate the diversity within the body of Christ. If you absolutely cannot attend a different church, find a YouTube video from a different church of a sermon you can enjoy together today, possibly during the meander.
After the church service, head out on your meander and work together on a relationship bucket list. Dream big as a couple — setting goals and envisioning what you'd like to experience and accomplish together. Have a notebook or app ready to write down your thoughts as they come.
- Visit a New Church: Open your hearts to the new experience and take a moment afterward to express gratitude for the variety of ways we can worship God.
- Meander and Create a Bucket List: As you drive and explore, brainstorm the adventures, milestones, and experiences you want to share.
- Focus on Gratitude and Exploration: Keep your hearts focused on gratitude for the life you're building together.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 21
- How did it feel to experience a new church service, and what did you appreciate about it?
- What ideas did you add to your relationship bucket list, and why are these goals meaningful?
- How can visiting new churches or sacred sites help to deepen your relationship with God?
- Key Takeaway
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
— 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Your task is to write a minimum of a dozen encouraging little love notes, filled with love, gratitude, and faith, and hide them around your home in places your spouse will discover over time. These notes aren't meant to be found all at once, but gradually — creating a trail of love that will lift their spirits long after today is over.
Hide them in unexpected places — inside a winter jacket pocket, a drawer, a closet, a work bag. If it's summer, tuck one into a pair of winter boots or slip one into their favorite book a few chapters back. These little "love grenades" will go off whenever your spouse finds them, each one a reminder of your love and your shared faith.
In addition to expressing your love, include faith-based themes in the notes. Try to reference Ephesians 5:25 or other messages that reflect the role of faith in your marriage. They don't have to be long — a single sentence is fine.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 22
- How did it feel to put your thoughts into words and reflect on your love and faith through writing?
- What impact do you hope these notes will have on your spouse as they find them over time?
- How can these notes serve as a reflection of God's love in your marriage?
- Key Takeaway
"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor."
— Ecclesiastes 4:9
Today's challenge is to create a "Date Night Jar" that will keep your Saturday date nights exciting and unpredictable. You and your spouse will each come up with at least 10 date night ideas, write them down, and place them in the jar. Moving forward, you'll pull one out every Saturday and commit to doing whatever the card says — adding spontaneity and fun to your relationship.
- Think Ahead: Gather a jar or small container, paper, and pens before you sit down together.
- Brainstorm Together: Come up with at least 10 date night ideas each — restaurants you haven't been to, bowling alleys, skating rinks, things you want to try. For at-home date nights, include meals to cook or specific movies to watch.
- Write, Fold, and Place: Write them on individual slips of paper, fold them up, and place them in the jar.
- Commit to the Process: Every Saturday, pull one out and do it — no excuses!
Faith and Love Journal — Day 23
- How did the brainstorming session help you reconnect and think creatively about your future time together?
- How does committing to regular date nights help strengthen your marriage over time?
- In what way can planning random adventures reflect on God's love for us?
- Key Takeaway
"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands."
— Psalm 19:1
Today's challenge is to take a walk together after dinner. Whether you walk for five minutes or half an hour, the goal is to intentionally spend time together, setting aside this space to connect, reflect, and unwind. The more you make this a habit, the more it becomes a cherished part of your daily life. Even if you don't enjoy walks at first — over time, you'll come to appreciate these quiet moments. Plus, the extra steps will help you both enjoy more healthy, vibrant days together.
- Make It a Habit: Set aside time after dinner to take a walk together, even if it's short.
- Enjoy the Atmosphere: If possible, time the walk during the sunset, enjoying the calming colors of the sky.
- Stay Connected: Use this time to talk, reflect, or simply enjoy the silence together.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 24
- How did the walk help you reconnect after the day's busyness?
- What did you notice about the atmosphere, and how did it impact your mood?
- How can you make walking together a regular habit, and what benefits do you see for your marriage?
- Key Takeaway
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves."
— Philippians 2:3
Today's challenge is to pack a surprise lunch for your spouse — whether they're heading off to work or working from home. Taking the time to prepare a meal just for them is an act of love and service that reflects humility and care. You can add a personal touch by including their favorite snack, a sweet note, or a treat they enjoy.
- Plan Their Favorite: Think about your spouse's favorite foods and plan a lunch that will make them smile. If they work from home, hide it in the fridge and text them where to find it around lunchtime.
- Add a Personal Touch: A handwritten note, a special treat, or a drink they love can turn an ordinary lunch into something special.
- Serve with Joy: Approach this act of service knowing that you're showing love in a tangible way.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 25
- How did they react when they saw the surprise lunch?
- How does serving your spouse in small ways help to build a stronger, more loving relationship?
- How can providing for your spouse without being asked help you reflect on your relationship with God?
- Key Takeaway
"Serve one another humbly in love."
— Galatians 5:13
Today's challenge is to give your spouse a back rub or foot massage — but with one important distinction: this is about not expecting anything in return. The goal is to serve your spouse and focus on their comfort as a way to show love, without the expectation of receiving a massage yourself.
- Offer Without Expectation: Let your spouse know you'd like to give them a massage, but make it clear that this is about their relaxation — you're not seeking one in return.
- Focus on Their Comfort: Pay attention to how your spouse is feeling and adjust to make sure they are relaxed and comfortable.
- Serve With Love: Approach this act of service with a spirit of joy, knowing that you're honoring both your spouse and God by prioritizing their comfort.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 26
- How did your spouse react when you gave them the massage with no expectation of reciprocity?
- What did you learn about the power of selfless service in your marriage?
- How can you continue to practice acts of service that focus on your spouse's needs and honor God?
- Key Takeaway
"Every good and perfect gift is from above."
— James 1:17
For this Saturday's date night, you'll embark on a progressive meal — enjoying different courses at three separate locations: one for appetizers, another for the main course, and a final stop for dessert. This date night offers a fun way to add variety to your evening, giving you both a mini-adventure filled with good food, great conversation, and memorable experiences.
- Plan Your Stops: Choose three different places — one for appetizers, another for the main course, and a third for dessert. Consider mixing familiar favorites and new places.
- Savor Each Moment: As you move from one location to the next, take your time to enjoy each other's company. Use the drive between spots to talk, reflect, and have fun.
- Celebrate the Adventure: This is about more than the food — it's about the journey and the shared experiences.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 27
- What was your favorite stop of the evening, and why?
- How did this progressive meal date create new memories for your relationship?
- How does strengthening your bond with new experiences help to honor God?
- Key Takeaway
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
— Jeremiah 29:11
Today's challenge is to create a lifetime vision board together — a powerful way to visualize the future of your marriage, family, and personal dreams. During your meander today, discuss the dreams you have for your life. Before you head home, stop to gather supplies — magazines, scissors, glue, poster board, markers. Then spend the rest of the day creating your vision board together.
Once it's done, display the vision board somewhere in your home as a visual representation of the plans you're building together and as a reminder of what you're working toward — with God at the center of everything.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 28
- How did working on this vision board together help strengthen your partnership?
- What steps can you take to ensure that you're working toward the vision you've created?
- How does your vision of the future honor God?
- Key Takeaway
"Love never fails."
— 1 Corinthians 13:8
Today's challenge is a creative and fun opportunity to dream about the future while reflecting on your relationship. You and your spouse will each write a letter as if you're celebrating your 100th wedding anniversary. In this letter, look back on your life together and share your 10 favorite memories from each decade of your marriage. Nearly all of these memories will be made up — so let yourself have fun with it!
This exercise is meant to be playful, but also meaningful. As you write, think about the life you want to build with your spouse — the adventures, the challenges you'll overcome, and the joy that will fill your years.
- Look Into the Future: Write a letter imagining you're celebrating 100 years. Share 10 favorite memories, one from each decade — made-up moments that weave in themes of love, growth, and adventure.
- Have Fun With It: Be playful and creative. Imagine the wild adventures you'll go on together.
- Consider it a Gift: You could leave the letter inside this chapter for your spouse to find, or plan to open the letters on a specific future anniversary.
Faith and Love Journal — Day 29
- How did writing this letter help you reflect on the kind of marriage you want to build?
- What emotions came up as you envisioned celebrating 100 years of love with your spouse?
- Where did you see God show up in this activity?
- Key Takeaway
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above."
— James 1:17
Today is the final day of this 30-day journey, and it's time to present the Habit Book as a gift to your spouse. Over the past month, you've invested time, love, and effort into intentionally deepening your relationship with both God and your spouse. Now, you'll wrap up this journey by gifting them this collection of intentional actions, reflections, and heartfelt moments.
- Present the Book Thoughtfully: Choose a moment where you can present the Habit Book in a meaningful way — during dinner, before bed, or in a quiet, special place.
- Express Your Heart: Take a moment to explain what this journey has meant to you and how this book reflects the love and commitment you have for your spouse.
- Reflect on the Journey: Celebrate the memories, actions, and love you've cultivated over the past 30 days.
Final Reflection: The Three Things That Remain
"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." — 1 Corinthians 13:13
Faith and Love Journal — Day 30 (Final Reflection)
- How did this entire journey help you feel closer to God?
- How did this make you feel closer to your spouse?
- What habits from this book are you going to implement in your daily life, and how will you ensure you stick to them?
- Key Takeaway
Want the Full Experience?
The physical edition of The Marriage Habit includes dedicated journal pages with blank lines for writing and reflecting after every single day — designed to be filled in and presented to your spouse as a priceless gift at the end of 30 days.
Get it on Amazon →Your completed journal will become a legacy your children and grandchildren will treasure.
Together for the Journey Ahead
"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."
— 1 Corinthians 13:13
This book is more than just a collection of actions and reflections; it is a physical representation of your dedication to growing closer to each other and to God. Each act of love, service, and connection over these 30 days has been an offering to Him.
The habits you've cultivated are seeds that will continue to grow. Keep the momentum going. Keep looking for ways to love each other deeply, serve one another selflessly, and invite God into every part of your marriage.
"May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you."
— Numbers 6:24–25
Here's to the future you're creating — together, and with God at the center.
With journal pages for every day — a keepsake gift for your spouse.
