Chapter 8: Creating a Legacy of Love and Faith
Building a Marriage That Inspires Others
Marriage is so much more than just a bond between two people—it’s a reflection of God’s love to the world. The way you honor, support, and love each other becomes a testimony that speaks to those around you, offering a glimpse of God’s grace, faithfulness, and redemption. When you intentionally build a marriage rooted in love and faith, you are creating a legacy that can inspire others, giving them hope, encouragement, and a deeper understanding of what’s possible when God is at the center.
Often, when we think about leaving a legacy, we imagine something far off in the future—a lasting impact that reflects something great we did in the world. But the truth is, your legacy starts today. It’s built in the daily moments of kindness, forgiveness, and unconditional love. It’s crafted in the ways you serve each other, speak words of life to one another, and invite God into your relationship. These small, consistent acts of love come together to create a powerful testimony of what God can do through a marriage that is fully surrendered to Him.
In our own marriage, I didn’t have strong examples of loving, faith-filled marriages to look up to. My parents went through a divorce when I was young, and I never really had a clear vision of what a healthy marriage looked like. I just assumed that if I wanted a good marriage, just do the opposite of my parents, thinking that would be easy enough. I thought marriage was about two people helping each other out—a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” mentality. I thought marriage was 50/50, where each partner did their part, but what I didn’t realize was how damaging that line of thinking could be. Over time, meditating and praying on Ephesians 5:25, I came to understand that marriage isn’t about splitting responsibilities down the middle. It’s about giving 100%—not holding back or keeping score. You give your all to elevate your spouse, and your spouse does the same. That’s when marriage becomes something beautiful, something that reflects God’s perfect love.
For my wife, her upbringing was centered on faith and family, but her family dynamic wasn't always a healthy view of what a true relationship should look like. There were a lot of controlling behaviors and a lack of the type of relentless and unconditional love that God shows to us on display in her family’s dynamic as well as the relationship of her parents. So, even though she had a spiritual foundation, we both had to learn together what a God-centered marriage truly looks like. And what beliefs we took from our parents and families and what beliefs we have been reinterpreting through talking, studying and researching together. We have learned that even though we didn’t have perfect role models ( of course no one here on earth can be perfect ), God could work through us to build something different—something that would inspire others and reflect His grace.
What we’ve learned, and what I hope to pass on, is that you don’t need a perfect upbringing or a flawless marriage to create a legacy of love. God uses our imperfections, our struggles, and our victories to craft something that points back to Him. No matter your background, God can work through your relationship to inspire others and leave a lasting legacy of love and faith.
The Power of Your Marriage to Impact Others
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” — Matthew 5:16
When you use your marriage as an offering to honor God, it’s like dropping a rock into a pond—the impact ripples out, reaching beyond just the two of you. As people see the unique way you love each other, the way you forgive, the way you lift each other up, they’re going to notice it. They start to wonder what makes your relationship different, and it stirs something in them. They start to want that kind of closeness with God, too.
And it doesn’t stop there. Each couple inspired by your example may begin to seek God more in their own marriage, filling their relationship with His love and purpose. Then their marriage becomes a light, a beacon pointing others toward God. One by one, those ripples keep going—couple after couple, home after home—each relationship igniting a new light that draws others to Him.
That’s exactly what’s happening now with you and this book. The story of what God is currently doing in your marriage, the journey you’re sharing—it’s going to another ripple. It’ll reach out, inviting others to experience a marriage filled with the Holy Spirit. One couple inspires another, each relationship becoming a new way for God’s love to spread. And that’s the power of using your marriage as an offering to God, as a way to worship Him: a love so genuine and so grounded in Christ that it points others back to Him, sparking a wave of faith that can transform lives.
I’ve seen this happen in my own life. Over time, I’ve noticed how the way I treat my wife impacts others. For example, when I visit my wife while she is working, even if it’s just to drop something off, I make a point to tell her that I love her and that she’s beautiful, right in front of everyone. I want people to see how much I love and cherish her, I want them to see how happy she is just by my quick visit even though we see each other every day, and I want them to know that kind of love is possible for them too. I’m not doing it to show off—I’m doing it because I believe it’s important for others to see a godly marriage in action. I feel like if you want to set an example, you have to live the example. I want to set an example that doesn't make people jealous, but makes them realize they can have this kind of relationship too. If they make comments about how her husband treats her, it’s an opening to naturally speak to them about God without having been pushy. I’ll send her flowers and gifts at work, and while the singing telegram I sent was probably a bit too much, the point was to publicly affirm my love for her in a way that would show others what’s possible when God is at the center of your relationship. Much like baptism is intended to be a public declaration of faith, I use sending gifts as a public declaration of my love for her. Don’t send a singing telegram. Even if it sounds like a good idea, it isn't.
Pro Tip for Men: Even if you somehow talk yourself into thinking that sending a singing telegram seems fun. Don’t. It’s really not a good idea.
When we are in public, I am always showing her affection, no matter where we are, I always have my arms wrapped around her, or pulling her into me, or having her on my arm. The point is that we are always having physical contact. When we go to a restaurant, we always sit in a booth on the same side. That way I can be next to her instead of across from her. I want to be as close to her as I can be, at all times, even when eating. And this is something she appreciates, she knows how I strive for constant closeness, and she has gratitude for that and reciprocates. I don’t do that for show, it’s because I simply can not be close enough to my wife.
The way you speak to and about your spouse in front of others matters. It’s one thing to tell your spouse you love them privately, but when you honor them publicly, it sets a powerful example for everyone around you. People start to see that marriage doesn’t have to be filled with conflict or bitterness. It can be a source of joy, strength, and peace when it’s rooted in God’s love.
Impacting Your Family, Friends, and Community
Your marriage doesn’t just impact the two of you—it has a ripple effect on the people around you. Your family, friends, and even your community are influenced by how you live out your love for God and each other. Whether you realize it or not, people are watching you, how you handle challenges, how you communicate, and how you love one another. And in those moments, your marriage becomes a living testimony of God’s love and faithfulness.
If you have children, your marriage becomes the primary way they understand love, faith, and commitment. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to “train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it.” The way you love each other and honor God in your marriage sets the foundation for how your children will one day approach their own relationships. But it’s not just about what you say; it’s about how you live. Kids don’t remember every word you say, but they will always remember how you made them feel. If they feel love, respect, and security from watching their parents, that’s what they’ll seek in their own future relationships.
But it’s not just about your children. Your marriage can impact friends, family members, people you work with, even strangers who just notice your love. There have been times when friends or family have asked my wife and me for advice about their relationships, and it’s not because we have all the answers—it’s because they see something in our marriage that they want for themselves. Sometimes, you don’t even realize the impact you’re having until someone tells you. Just by living out your marriage with honoring God as the intent, you’re already serving as a light to those around you.
And it doesn’t stop there. Your marriage can impact your community in ways you might not even imagine. Galatians 6:10 reminds us, “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” When you serve together as a couple, whether it’s volunteering, offering help to someone in need, or simply being a listening ear, you show the world what God’s love looks like in action.
Leaving a Spiritual Legacy for Future Generations
Leaving a spiritual legacy is about more than just what happens while you’re here—it’s about creating something that will continue to impact future generations long after you’re gone. It’s about living in a way that the seeds of faith you plant today will grow in the hearts of your children, grandchildren, and everyone who comes after you.
One way we’ve worked on creating a spiritual legacy is by building our own faith-based traditions into our lives. For example, we want to celebrate Christmas, but not in the way of giving gifts. We use Christmas as a time to travel and have a new experience instead of feeling like a holiday of picking something from Amazon. It can be something like starting to pray together before meals, having family devotion time, or even celebrating spiritual milestones like baptisms. These traditions become the framework that future generations can follow, guiding them toward a life rooted in faith. One area we’ve struggled with is finding a way to keep holidays centered on God. Every year, especially around Christmas, we try to find ways to make the holiday about God rather than gifts. It’s not easy, and we haven’t perfected it yet, but the goal is always to glorify God and show gratitude rather than get caught up in commercialization of the season.
Another powerful way to leave a legacy is by sharing your marriage story. Be open about how God has worked in your relationship—the highs, the lows, and everything in between. Share the stories of how God answered your prayers, how He showed up in difficult seasons, and how He’s shaped your marriage over time. These testimonies serve as a reminder to future generations of God’s faithfulness and love.
For me, writing down our marriage story has been a way to ensure that our legacy endures. I want my children, and their children, to know how God carried us through, how He answered our prayers, and how He was with us in every season of our marriage. Psalm 145:4 says, “One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” When you share your story, you’re not just telling your history—you’re declaring God’s mighty works to the next generation, and hopefully helping to shape their marriages to bring them closer to God. Let the legacy of your marriage inspire others to seek an exceptional love built in faith, hope, and unwavering commitment to God.
Practical Steps for Creating a Legacy of Love and Faith
Encourage Each Other Publicly: Make it a habit to publicly affirm and encourage your spouse in front of others. Take moments to speak words of love, honor, and appreciation for each other, demonstrating mutual respect and setting an example of what a strong, God-centered marriage looks like.
Public Encouragement: Use opportunities in public settings to speak words of love and gratitude to each other, highlighting God’s role in your marriage. When you share how God has blessed your relationship—through big answers to prayer or simple daily joys—you’re offering others a glimpse into what a marriage rooted in faith can look like, inspiring them to seek God’s presence in their own lives.
